Hugging the Midline

Cursing Baby

Glen and I have both made the mistake of cursing in front of Jack, and then winced when we heard a high-voiced little "oh shit!" coming back to us from the car seat (am I the WORST PARENT IN THE UNIVERSE to secretly think a toddler cursing is slightly hilarious?).

I've tried to temper my language in front of the little guy with the big ears, and I think it's working. I haven't heard any bad words from Jack's lips in a while, but he's doing a lot of Grandma-style cursing lately that I'm told he gets from me:

"Oh my word!"

"No big whoop!"

And tonight at the square when he saw some dog poop on the sidewalk: "Oh my heavens, poo!" 

Kid's Got His Priorities Straight

We've been talking with Jack lately about the word love. Last night before dinner I asked him, "Do you love Mommy? Do you love Daddy? Do you love JoJo?" He thought it was just hilarious to tease me by laughing at each question and shaking his head no.

Then as we were serving dinner and he saw what we were having, he ran to the table and exclaimed excitedly, "Mmmm, mommy, I WUV bacon!"

We Still Got It

So, the big 2-0 high school reunion was this past weekend, and I can actually say it was fun. I think I was worried that walking in the door would feel too much like I was really back in high school, but thank God it didn't. It was nice to see those familiar faces again, but with fewer insecurities (for me, at least) and less baggage, to see people who I used to think of in tidy little categories as just people with their own unique and interesting lives that aren't always so easily categorized. That sounds a little Breakfast-Club-y, I know, but it's true.

It was such a treat to be around the old friends I adore adore adore (especially Kory, Jon, Mike, and Brooke) but don't get to see nearly enough. Those are the friends I can count on to have my back no matter what, and when I see myself reflected back in their eyes, I like what I see. We live all across the country, and for some of us it can literally be years between conversations, but they still know I love them like all kinds of crazy, and it's nice to know they feel the same.

  

Being the self-reflective type, the reunion was also a bit of a reality check for me. I have to admit to spending more than a little time obsessing over whether I was going to show up at the reunion with just the right handbag or shoes, and what I imagined certain accessories might say about me and my accomplishments and relative coolness (now that sounds like high school, for sure); a couple bizarro-world conversations over the weekend really helped put things in perspective for me, and reminded me that love and friendship and good times and keepin' it real are where my primary focus needs to be. I can be a slow learner, to be sure, but thanks to my unintentional teachers this weekend who reminded me: I am not my accessories! (I still think fashion is part of the great fun of life, of course, and handbags just might show up on my gratitude list from time to time; I just need to be sure not to let material concerns steer me off course...)

Last but not least, I must take a moment to brag about one of the highlights of my weekend. Friday night we had dinner at Leon's Pizza, where I always like to go when I'm back in town. They have the same tabletop Ms. Pacman game that I spent many hours playing on Saturday afternoons back in junior high in the mid-80s. I challenged JoEllen to a couple games, and it turns out I still got it! I don't even understand most of her PlayStation games and have yet to go near a Wii, so this is most likely the first and last time I'll beat her at a video game. I wish I was the type of always-prepared blogger who would have thought to capture photographic evidence of my big win, but this borrowed image will have to do. Ah, they don't make 'em like they used to!

GratefulMo Wrap-Up

It's been pretty quiet around this blog since I wrote my most recent gratitude post. Gratitude has remained a central theme in my life, but I've been meeting myself coming and going at both home and work for the last week or so, and haven't made the time until tonight to sit down and wrap GratefulMo up with the little bow it deserves.

Regular readers probably noticed a pretty consistent theme to my gratitude postings: I'm most grateful for family, safety, comfort, harmony, the simple joys of our everyday routines. This cozy little family life is clearly in such marked contrast to the news from elsewhere in Iowa lately where many people have lost loved ones and homes and businesses to the tornadoes and floods that have ravaged our state.

It goes without saying that these calamitous events have reminded me to appreciate my many blessings. I've also been thinking lately that it doesn't seem quite adequate just to count my blessings; the best way for me to demonstrate my gratitude is to share my blessings with others. We're not a rich family by any means, but I'm grateful that we have a few extra dollars we can share with those who need our help. I've also found lately that it feels good to experiment with giving more. We've always given a small amount each month, but I've sometimes been a little stingier than I want to be. I like stretching to see if we can give until it hurts just a little bit.

With that in mind, if you're interested in helping Iowans in need, here are a couple organizations that could use the help:

• American Red Cross - I've read lately that their disaster relief fund is in bad shape and really needs our help (of course, this fund helps not just Iowans, but people affected by natural disasters around the world)
• Iowa Artists Relief - Thanks to Heather for spreading the word about this fund to help Iowa artists and musicians who have lost equipment, tools, portfolios, studios, everything these self-employed artists need to sustain their livelihood.

I've also wanted to practice gratitude as a family, so at dinner time each night we've started sharing things we're grateful for. Of course, Jack doesn't quite understand the concept, and has taken to responding to the question, "Jack, what are you grateful for?" with the same answer he hears his almost-twelve-year-old sister Jo give to most questions: "Nuffing!"

I couldn't be more grateful for the children in my life who keep me on my toes and always remind me not to take myself too seriously. 

Love is All Over the Place, There's Nothing Wrong With Your Face

189. I'm super duper grateful for all the music and musicians that help get me through my days, and Ms. Ani Difranco is way out on top of that list. 
     
     Ever since some friends first saw Ani at the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival about 15 years ago and they copied a couple of her CDs onto cassette for me, I've been hooked. Since then I've bought all of her albums (and she puts out a lot of albums) and I've seen her in concert about a dozen times.
     
     Ani's music is so personal for me. We were born in the same month of the same year, we have similar relationship histories and social/political ideals, and we both became mothers in the same year. So, I guess you could say we're pretty much the same person, Ani and me, except for, you know, her amazing musical talent, a few extra million in one of our bank accounts, and an audience full of righteous babes tossing their panties on stage on a nightly basis. So, yeah, other than that.
     
     Ani's music is very autobiographical, and so often her latest song puts into words exactly what I'm going through at a given time. Here's one that's speaking for me today.
     
     

Mind-Blowing

188. I can finally say I'm grateful that my high school reunion is coming up in a couple weeks and mean it. (Um...mostly.) For a while I was thinking it seemed like a necessary evil, something I felt like I should do but was semi-dreading, like going to the dentist. But as the plans are unfolding I'm starting to feel pretty excited about the whole thing, to see those friends I adore and don't get to see enough (Mom and Dad, don't wait up...). The people I liked in high school but for one reason or another haven't seen since. The people I didn't particularly like at the time, to see how they might have changed (or maybe I've changed enough in the ensuing decades that it won't matter to me whether they've changed or not). That's right people, decades; how weird does that sound?
     
     P.S.  I was already planning to write about my reunion tonight when I realized this post is lucky number 188 (for class of '88) on my gratitude list. Kismet. 
     
     P.P.S.  The quotes on the reunion website from people getting ready to retire from 20-year military careers or with grandkids on the way are BLOWING. MY. MIND.

Sweet Sweet Summer

Grateful for a sweet summer weekend:

184. The Social Event of the Year — The first Friday of every month in Fairfield is the Art Walk just a quick walk from our house on the square. This Friday's Art Walk was the annual Italian night put on by the local Italian American group. The highlight for me is the FOOD and I pretty much fasted all day in preparation: a piece of four-cheese lasagne as big as my head, TO-DIE-FOR cannoli, and chocolate gelato. An opera singer that had Jack dancing and clapping like it was a rock show, bocce ball for Jo and her friends, sidewalk chalk and bubbles for Jack, lots of friends and neighbors to chat with, good people watching — so much diversity in Fairfield and really a suprising amount of great fashion and an abundance of attractive people in our little town. We're lucky to have such a great event to look forward to every year.
     
     
185. Our First Swim of the Season — We're definitely a pool-loving family, and yesterday was our first trip of the summer to our favorite pool in Mount Pleasant. I'm declaring the trip a success for two reasons; JoEllen proclaimed an afternoon hanging out at the pool with only her family for company "not as boring as I thought it would be," and Jack played so hard that he was a sleeping little bobble head in his car seat before we hit the highway.
     
     
186. More than a Bag of Lettuce — After my neighbor Christi and I went on our walk this morning, I stopped at their house to admire their vegetable garden. Her husband Terrell was outside working in the garden and sent me home with some lettuce and radishes and a huge start of lemon basil for my own garden. I love eating what's in season, especially when I know it's organic. And I love having neighbors who will share their garden's bounty (call me when you make that first batch of salsa, guys, and I'll be right over with the tequila!).
     
     
187. Summer Curls — Although I'm not thrilled with the humidity's affect on my hairstyle, it does wonders for Jack's sweet little ringlets. How can you not love those curls! In this picture, our little curlyhead chose to eat his breakfast on the floor in front of the fridge so he could admire the painting he brought home from daycare last week.

Progress

183. At 5:01 on the nose, I got up from my desk, stepped outside, and quickly pushed the empty stroller a few quick blocks to our babysitter's house, the sweet smell of lilac and clover thick in the air. After Jack said his goodbyes, we strolled home at a leisurely pace while I fielded a steady stream of questions: What's that? ...and that? ...and that? Where are we? Where Daddy? Where Jo? Where my sungassies? When Jack go MiMi house? Jack pway baseball? Where my butt?
     
     Glen was off to pick up Jo, so Jack and I were on our own for the evening. We had an easy dinner capped off by Jack feeding Mommy from a shared bowl of perfectly juicy strawberries. Then there was the nightly walk to the square, where we took turns chasing each other across the grass, Jack squealing with laughter and throwing himself into my arms. Walk back home, bath, stories, hugs, bed.
     
     Sure, there were a couple minor meltdowns for good measure, but I'm learning to take those in stride as just part of the two-year-old territory. Mostly my evening with Jack left me feeling deeply grateful for the easy joy of our lovely little family routines.
     
     Lately I'm finding more and more that I can let life's sweetness sink in, while the tougher stuff rolls off my back just a little more quickly. That's some progress, people.

Kissing it Away

182. Poor Jack took a spill off a riding toy today at daycare and is now sporting a fat lip. I felt so bad for our little guy tonight whose "mouf huwt!" whenever he took a drink, but I'm grateful that he only fell a couple inches and his injuries are the type that can be soothed by extra kisses. 

Ordinary Life

"Time stands still best in moments that look suspiciously like ordinary life."  - Brian Andreas

181. Tonight I went to check on Jack after he had been in bed for a few minutes. I thought he was asleep, but he shot me one of his mischevious little smiles and asked: "Mommy cuddle Jack wockabye baby chaiwr?" It was a stall tactic, for sure, and it worked; no way was I passing up an offer that sweet. So I lifted him out of his crib and rocked with him snuggled on my lap, while time stood still for a while.