Hugging the Midline

Christmas Letters (Kinda Cheating Today)

Some of the Christmas letters that showed up this year were so good that I couldn't resist sharing a couple funny stories. So, maybe I'm cheating a little; I get credit for a funny blog post without having to write anything myself!

From Susan:

You know the moment you discover that you are no longer remotely cool in your children's eyes? My moment struck pretty hard just before Christmas last year when I offered my boys a day of playing hooky. We had just gotten great news regarding my father's health and I was in a "celebrate life" mood. "What's hooky?" asked Max. "It's a day when you don't go to school and instead we spend the day together goofing around in the city." "We'd spend the day with you, Mom?" inquired Syler. "Yes, the three of us would go around looking at the national Christmas tree, the Capital Christmas tree, the train set at Union Station and at the Botanic Garden. Doesn't that sound like a great day?" Long pause. "Yeah...Mom, we'd rather go to school," responded Max. And Syler, my sweet little Syler, poured more salt in the wound by asking, "Hey Mom, could we play hooky with somebody else?"

From Brian:

Ever the king of the one-liner, Maddy had a few doozies this year, none better than her thoughtful comment while contemplating the celibate life of a nun after watching The Sound of Music for the first time: "Well, I think it would be fun, but it would hurt my stomach to keep those babies in there that long."

We didn't send out a Christmas letter this year; we were proud enough to get a photo card out to a few friends. Lately I've been chronicling most of my stories on this website, but here's a good one from our house earlier this year, one that would have made it to our Christmas letter if we'd gotten one out:

When JoEllen found out that Glen and I met on Friendster.com, she had never heard of it before, although she knew about social networking sites from her older sister and her sister's friends. Confused that her cool big sister could be surfing the same type of site as her uncool dad and stepmom, Jo asked the question that put us in our place: "Is Friendster like MySpace for old people?"

A Lovely Day

Today was one of those days that turned out to be surprisingly sweet even though it was made up of pretty everyday events.

Ever since giving me my iPod three days ago, Glen has been hard at work downloading all of my CDs onto our computer and transferring them over to the iPod. That's one of the things I've gotta love about my guy — if left to my own devices, who knows how many weeks or months it would take me to get all of my CDs downloaded, but when Glen decides to start a project like this he attacks it full speed ahead and gets. it. done. I'm pretty sure all of the music in my collection will be on the iPod by this time next week. No pressure though, honey. (#33)

So this morning we loaded the kids in the car to head to Iowa City for a day of errands, and the time flew by singing along to Ani Difranco and Ben Folds and a few of the other 837 or so songs set to shuffle. The day was a blur of taking Jack in and out of the car seat too many times to count, almost accidentally shoplifting from JC Penneys (but not!), and dropping some stuff off at the consignment shop with the most. unfriendly. employees. ever.

We capped off our excursion by heading to Grinnell for an easy dinner with Glen's mom. I suppose it wasn't as easy for Marilyn, since she did the cooking, but it was a nice, leisurely meal pulled off with the kind of ease that only a woman who raised six kids on an Iowa dairy farm can manage. (most. easygoing. mother-in-law. ever. #34)

If I think about it long enough, I'm sure the kids came up with some things to fuss about today and I'm sure Glen and I got on each other's nerves from time to time. Then there was the longest line of our life at Target, the previously mentioned crabby salespeople, and some equally crabby customers. But any of the stressful stuff that might have come our way was met with mostly humor and patience and not too much exasperation. Overall it was great to get a few things scratched off the to-do list, and spend the day with people who make my life mostly easy and joyful and sweet.

I hope my blog entries don't come across as too braggy about how much I love my life. If it makes a difference to any readers who don't know my background, man, have I done my time. Not that I've had the worst life in the world (or even close). Since I've chosen to slap my full name all over this blog and I don't want to hurt or embarrass anyone (myself included), I'll skip the details and just say that there were a few *really rough years* in there and I've survived my share of craziness.

I can honestly say today that I'm grateful for the tough stuff I've waded through in my life. Those times forced me to take a hard look at who I was and who I wanted to become, and helped make me the person I am today, one who's ridiculously grateful for what I've got.

John or Barack? Help Me Decide

The Iowa caucuses are only six days away, and I still can't decide whether to support John Edwards or Barack Obama. I've been leaning most strongly toward Edwards, who inspires me every time I hear him speak, whether it's in person or in a debate. I like Obama, too, and have been impressed by the passion of his supporters.

I'm not a political expert, but policy-wise I don't think there's that much difference between them. In the end I guess I'll go with the person who inspires me the most and seems the most likely to trounce his Republican opponent in the general election.

It would be tough to get me to go for any other candidate at this point (don't even try, Fairfield Ron Paul-heads!), but if anyone wants to help me make my decision between Edwards and Obama, I'm open.

I Am the Luckiest

Christmas with the family has given me so many reasons to give thanks:

30. My sister Mia's condo — Mia moved to my old Des Moines neighborhood the same week I sold my house and moved to Fairfield. That serendipitous timing has been a life-saver. We have keys to the place, leave a crib and diapers for Jack in the guest bedroom, and have taken over a couple drawers in the bathroom vanity, making her place feel like our second home. I have a bed to sleep in if the weather forces me to spend the night after working in Des Moines; I have easy access to my favorite neighborhood coffee shop; and our extended family has a great mid-way gathering spot. We all met here yesterday to celebrate Christmas together, and it was such an easy, comfortable place to gather. Mia is a great host and never seems to mind our treating her place like a bed and breakfast; I don't know if I would be so gracious (okay, I'm almost certain I wouldn't be so gracious...) if family descended on my home that often.



31. Free babysitting! Last night the sisters and our sweeties went out to a late movie while my parents stayed at Mia's place with Jack and JoEllen, for free of course. I actually think I might be able to get them to pay me for the chance to babysit their favorite pee wees. I'm still trying to figure out how to work that angle.



32. A family that spoils me — Despite pre-determined spending limits (that I stuck to, I might add), my hubby and parents surprised me with an iPod, the kind with enough memory to hold our entire CD collection (and probably the CD collections of everyone who reads this post) and the many audio books and podcasts that are currently floating all over my car. I know most of y'all rang in the millennium with an iPod at your side, and I've been jonesing for one almost that long, but it's the type of luxury I was unlikely to splurge on myself, or even officially put on my Christmas list. Even though we DVR our favorite TV shows (the poor girl's Tivo) and normally fast-forward through commercials, Glen can attest that I make him pause and watch all of the iPod and iPhone commercials with me as I gaze longingly at the screen, at the same time saying, whatever you do, do not get me an iPod for Christmas. No mixed message there! I've been a proponent of minimizing our family's gift giving and trying to make Christmas more about the time spent together than about exchanging big piles of lavish gifts. When Glen asked me if I was going to blog about my iPod, I asked, does that make me seem shallow? Regardless, I'm super excited about my new toy, and touched that my family treated me to such a thoughtful gift.
    
    

       

A Few of My Favorite Things

My list of movies, books, and music that touched me the most in 2007:

• Movies — Before Jack came along, Glen and I went to at least one movie every weekend, sometimes two. We still rent DVDs, but since we only make it to a theater about once a month — if we're lucky — going out to any movie is a big treat for us these days.
  
  That is to say, I'm sure I haven't seen all of the year's best movies, but the one that touched me the most was Once, a little Irish musical with a documentary-like feel, starring Marketa Irglova and Glen Hansard, the lead singer of the Frames. Even though I've been a Frames fan for years, I didn't realize going in that Hansard was in the movie, so that was a nice surprise; the soundtrack is lovely. Once takes an intimate look at a friendship/musical partnership/would-be romance that has a significant impact on both people even though they only know each other for a couple days. Although I enjoy the occasional action adventure flick, I'm really a sucker for a movie like Once that is quiet and tender and sweet, that really lets me get to know and care about the main characters, that reminds me of people who have come and gone from my life and touched me in some way.
  
  In my favorite scene, it's the middle of the night and Irglova is writing lyrics to Hansard's music when her borrowed Walkman dies. She raids her sleeping daughter's piggybank (with a whispered promise to pay her back), walks several blocks to the convenience store in her pajamas and slippers to buy batteries, and then walks home listening to the Walkman and singing aloud (the song is If You Want Me, my favorite from the soundtrack). If you've ever been inspired to drop whatever you're doing to follow a creative impulse (like I'm pausing now to type these words between washing the broccoli and chopping it), this scene will speak to you.
  
  I've been telling everyone who crosses my path to see this movie, but if you live in a small town like Fairfield, you may have missed it. Lucky for you it came out on DVD last week, and includes lots of great special features, so run, don't walk to your nearest Netflix queue and check it out.
  
  Our favorite documentary this year was King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, which was especially fun for us because it co-stars a Fairfield native who hosted a Q&A after the movie and posed for a picture with me. Glen wrote more about this one on his blog. It will be out on DVD shortly.



• Books — I listened to several books this year on my weekly round-trip to Des Moines. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert is one of the few books I read the old-fashioned way this year, devouring it in about two days. Like me, Gilbert is in her 30's, practices yoga, and is a writer and spiritual seeker, so it especially hit home for me. This memoir follows Gilbert on her year abroad: four months in Italy seeking pleasure by learning Italian and eating great food, four months at an Indian ashram seeking spiritual insight through yoga and meditation, then the last four months in Bali seeking to integrate her previous experiences. I especially like that she shares her spiritual insights without coming across as at all preachy. I rarely discover a book that inspires me as thoroughly as Eat Pray Love did.



• Music — My favorite albums in 2007 (I think some of them actually came out in 2006) were Begin to Hope by Regina Spektor, Alright Still by Lily Allen, Canon by Ani Difranco (a retrospective that includes a couple new songs; Ani and I are the same age and had our first children in the same year, so her album hit home for me in much the same way Eat Pray Love did), and the Once soundtrack. Of course, most of the singles I bought this year were Gender Benders. My favorite non-Gender Bender singles of the year were 1234 by Feist and some Rilo Kiley songs from a mix my sister Jana made for my birthday. I hope she remembers to bring the whole CD when I see her at Christmas. ;-)

Santa Baby

I didn't realize a 21-month-old would be so jazzed about Christmas, but Jack has been running around the house in his Santa hat like a mad man yelling "Ho ho ho!"

Here's a picture I took last night of our little Santa. I like the unintentional effects I get from my camera phone sometimes — I think this one looks like an illustration.

An Offering

My Grandma Jo's funeral is today. Since I won't be there in person, I decided to dedicate my yoga practice to her this morning, an idea I got from some of the yoga blogs I've been reading. It was nice. I thought of Grandma, hoping she's happy, at peace, and in the presence of the many loved ones who went before her. I also sent some love out to my mom and her siblings, my sister Mia who is a very sensitive soul, and everyone else who's either at the funeral today or grieving on their own. It's a small offering, but I hope a little bit of the love I send reaches someone who needs it today.

Finally!

29. I have my car back!

Living the Dream

I just woke up from a little nap, but I wanted to get a gratitude list out before the end of the day, so please forgive any typos or sleepiness-induced ramblings:

24. Today I've felt much less sad than yesterday and have instead been remembering some favorite memories and "Grandma Jo-isms". Grandma could always be counted on for an adventure. There was the family vacation to Ontario when I was about 10 when she accompanied me on a hike to a waterfall I had "discovered". If memory serves, she was the only adult interested in joining me on a hike to my secret destination, and she was kind enough to declare it "wonderful!" when we arrived. Then there was the Colorado mountain hike with Aunt Judy's family a few years ago that I've only heard about second-hand, but that always makes me laugh. They had just completed a hike to a remote mountain top far from any town. As they were admiring the beautiful view, Grandma exclaimed, "Wouldn't you think there'd be a place to get a cup of coffee around here?" Late in life, Grandma went back to tap dancing, and even participated in recitals at her seniors-only apartment complex. If anyone has a picture from Grandma's recital, I'd love to post it. And feel free to share any other Grandma Jo memories in the comments.



25. One unanticipated — but welcome — consequence of this blog has been the great connections I've made. I've read some amazing blogs, had conversations with a couple great bloggers, and had tea this week with a new blogger-friend. I've also appreciated the conversations my posts have inspired with family and friends — the advice regarding Jack's pink eye, the kind words when a particular post has inspired or touched someone, the e-mail from a friend who needs to make a major decision and wanted some advice on trusting the universe (is she reading the right website?!?), and the nice note from my dear friend Scott that my blog sounds like I'm "living the dream". Of course, I try in my posts to focus on the positive. I don't write much about the little cat barf surprises I clean up on a daily basis or my car that's been in the shop for almost a month now, but those little drudgeries don't detract from the fact that so many of my dreams have come true. Years ago Scott helped see me through some pretty rough, lonely stretches, and it's good to have a friend remind me to recognize how nice it is to be (most days) on the other side.



26. Glen got his first commission check at his new job last week, we got a $26 check today from the Microsoft settlement, and I received an unsolicited dollar in the mail to entice me to complete the enclosed survey. See honey, letting the universe know we're open to financial abundance is working!



27. Today's mail also included a great new Christmas CD mix from Scott that helped me through some monotonous work chores this afternoon. Thank you!



28. Tomorrow starts 12 days of vacation for me, a great perk of working at a large company for a long time and having more PTO built up than I know what to do with.

A Goodbye

My Grandma Jo died last night. She was able to stay at home until the end, with five of her children, including my mom, at her bedside. Aunt Gerry runs a hospice program and Aunt Jackie is a psychologist who works with the very ill, so Grandma and her children were surrounded by the best possible support system.

I'm not planning to travel to Denver for the funeral, but Jack and I got to see Grandma in August. The weekend we were there was the same weekend she took to her bed for good and seemed to start losing interest in life. But she visibly brightened and said Jack's name every time I brought him into the room, so I'm glad we made the trip and were able to have that time with her.

After my dad called me with the news, I had this strange urge to go upstairs, climb into Jack's crib with him, and hold him close. I didn't act on my impulse, of course, but I looked in on him more often than usual last night. Having a child has made me acutely — sometimes painfully — aware that we are all mortal beings. If the cycle of life rolls on in a predictable manner, in 30 or 40 years I'll be the one at my parents' bedsides; in 50 or 60 years Jack will be at mine; and hopefully Jack has at least 100 healthy, happy years in front of him.

Of course, life isn't always predictable, and I'm reminded to truly savor every precious moment. A couple years ago we lost my Aunt Bette, the youngest of Grandma's nine kids. She was a high-energy, light-filled individual who had this visibly close, special relationship with her four kids, and losing her so suddenly and so young was a blow to the family. It comforts me to think that if Grandma had any fear or hesitation in her final moments, Bette was there with a welcoming hand.

This picture was probably the last one taken of Grandma Jo and all of her children, at her 80th birthday celebration in Omaha a few years ago.