Hugging the Midline

A Whole Lotta Gratitude

I can't believe I've managed to go a week without posting, but sometimes life intervenes. My sister Jana flew in this weekend from Portland and we all gathered for a couple days at Mia's place in Des Moines; work has been busy; a couple stressful moments have presented themselves here and there; and the weather has been so glorious that our evenings are spent pushing Jack around the neighborhood in his stroller instead of staring at this here goblinbox!

While we've been out and about just livin' our little life, I've filed away so many items in my gratitude stash, some of the everyday variety, some with a more once-in-a-lifetime slant. I thought I'd stop by and share a few:

106. Jana is engaged! Jana and Ian are a wonderful couple, and his proposal was about as unique and thoughtful and romantic as they get. Here's the dorky happy couple in outfits that remind them of where they first met.
     
     

     

107. Jack used his potty for the first time last night! The big engagement did win top billing by a hair, but the potty is still pretty big news around here. Potty Time Elmo has been Jack's favorite DVD lately, and he has become fond of announcing, "Jack woowoo peepee potty! Mommy woowoo peepee potty! Daddy woowoo peepee potty!" It's pretty amusing what passes for stimulating conversation when there's a two-year-old in the house. To prove that I am capable of at least some restraint, I'll skip the pics of this one. 



108. From the most prevalent themes on this blog, it's pretty clear that I adore my life as a mama, and I treasure every moment I get with our little guy. And yet, being a parent is some HARD. WORK. Between ensuring safety at all times, taking walks, supervising baths and potty time, changing diapers, cooking chicken nuggets, reading half a dozen books in a row, playing games, witnessing tantrums, laughing at mispronunciations, enjoying squeezes, etc. etc. etc., it can be so hard to get house projects done, hard to fit in couple time (especially because Jack starts screaming, "Nooooo!!" whenever he sees mom and dad hug or kiss; do other kids do this?), hard to find time to think. Which is why I'm THRILLED that my parents are going to take Jack for more than 24 hours this weekend so Glen and I can get some serious work done during the day and hit the Donovan/Moby/Chrysta Bell concert in the evening. Moby! Here in our little town! If you haven't gotten your tickets yet, you can find them here: http://www.mum.edu/saturday/

Date Night

Grateful for date night:

64. Spicy tuna rolls



65. Never having to go on another first date, God willing. Glen and I eavesdropped on the couple next to us at dinner struggling through awkward, polite, getting-to-know-you conversation. Of course, some first dates are great, and make it totally worth the butterflies in the stomach, the changing clothes 19 times and ending up back in the same outfit you started with (or was that just me?), that crazy excitement laced with a little dread. But even though some aspects of dating were fun, I'm so very glad to be done with that part of my life.



66. Smooching in the movie theater, a nice change of pace from smooching while folding laundry or unloading the dishwasher (though the latter is not without it's own charm).



67. Holding hands



68. Having duly satisfied my quota for brutally violent, disturbing movies for the year (There Will Be Blood and In Bruges), I'm officially allowed for the rest of 2008 to insist upon only seeing movies that leave me feeling hopeful and good. I know I'm different from many people in this regard, but I encounter enough disturbing, violent, heartbreaking, terrifying situations in daily life and on the news; I don't need them tagging along on date night.



69. Knowing Jack was safe and having fun with Aunt Mimi, Grampa Mike, and Gramma Carol. Bonus points to my mom who thinks (or at least pretended to think so when I suggested it!) there's no better way to spend her birthday than hanging out with her favorite almost-two-year-old.

Grateful Anyway

Gratitude is usually a pretty easy practice for me, because most days my life is all rainbows and kitty cats, but when one of said kitties keeps SHITTING ON THE RUG, I find myself feeling a little less serene. These are the days when I need to remind myself of the good stuff the most, though, yeah?

57. An African Violet on sale for $2.99 at Hy-Vee. They must have known I needed just that little pick-me-up on my desk to help carry me through until spring (sigh...).



58. My good health and the health of those I love most. That should be on the list every day.



59. A husband who amazes me with his ability to help me look on the bright side, and who runs that Rug Doctor like No Other.



60. An almost-two-year-old who delights me daily. We need to shoot some video of him counting to ten while it's still such a sweet novelty: "onnnnnne, twoooooo, freeeeeee, poooooouuur, piiiiiiive, siiiiiix, [skips seven], aaaaaaaaaaape, niiiiiiine, TENNNNNN!!!!! TENNNNNNN!!!! TENNNNNN!!!!! TENNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!" That last bit is always said in the silliest voice he can muster, running in circles, little arms waving over his head in a victory dance.

Happiness is a Warm Pudding Cake

Ask anyone on my dad's side of the family to name their favorite dessert, and I'm guessing they'd all say my Grandma Norma's pudding cake. Hot out of the oven, served with vanilla ice cream, drizzled with the chocolaty sugary syrup scraped from the bottom of the cake pan.   

Growing up meant Sunday dinners and birthday celebrations at my grandparents' farm. Snooping through boxes in the cold, musty storage room for hidden treasures like Grandma's old costume jewelry or Dad and Uncle Matt's childhood toys. Picking peas and lettuce from the garden, shucking corn on the back porch, climbing the apple tree to pick those perfect tiny, sour apples. Pestering the grown-ups to stop lingering at the table after lunch because I was bored and wanted dessert, and then being told to go run around the house a few times.

Annual fishing trips to Canada with the extended family. Endless hours building sandcastles on the beach, catching perch off the dock and then setting them free, big fish fries in the evening after the guys got home from fishing, then for dessert, pudding cake. And the lucky early riser the next morning who got to eat that last little square of cake for breakfast. (By the way, I didn't fully appreciate these annual trips to Coutts Camp as a kid, especially as a teenager, but in retrospect my memories of them are so idyllic — what I wouldn't give on this below-freezing Iowa day to be floating in Lake of the Woods on a raft, reading a book while the minnows nibble my toes...)   

The pudding cake recipe is about as easy as you can get, just a regular packaged mix with a couple extra things thrown in; you probably already have the ingredients in your pantry. We don't make a lot of desserts around our house, but this old favorite gets pulled out whenever we have guests for dinner like we did last weekend.

Now — the best part about making pudding cake for dinner guests — we've been enjoying the leftovers all week. Last night Glen and I warmed some up in the microwave as a late-night treat after his radio show, and I explained to him the importance of the perfect cake to ice cream ratio.

Years ago I used to attend a music festival at which everyone had to work a couple shifts in the kitchen. I remember being told by the volunteer coordinator that the secret to their food was the love and care they put into cooking it. They stood by that philosophy so firmly that they told us to skip our shift if we were in a bad mood; they didn't want our crabbiness to rub off on the sloppy josephines or tofu scramble.

I like that idea, and now making pudding cake always makes me think of it. I do think it's one of the yummiest desserts I've ever had, and I appreciate the simplicity of the recipe. But for me the biggest enjoyment comes from the associated memories and the care I know Grandma put into making it for us (and still does, although luckily for her there are lots of other cooks in the kitchen these days). I hope some of that essence comes through when I make it.

Pudding Cake

1. Prepare any chocolate cake mix according to package directions.
2. Combine:
   2 cups boiling water
   1 cup white sugar
   1 cup brown sugar
   4 T cocoa
3. Drizzle the mixture over the cake.
4. Bake according to package directions.
5. Serve warm with vanilla ice cream.
   
      

I Wish the Same for You

My weekly commute to Des Moines has become one of my favorite rituals; the drive is a kind of a meditation. I find that lots of ideas come to me and I end up calling my voice mail with half a dozen quick messages: blog post ideas, gift ideas, general to-do list items I don't want to forget, all kinds of mini-inspirations. And that time alone for quiet reflection always leaves me feeling grateful:

49. The Perfect Playlist — I recently made a mixed CD for my friends Brian and Dave, and I think it's pretty close to perfect. I used to brag that I made the world's best depressing CD; I still like the occasional sad song, but I think it's a good sign that my musical tastes are mostly upbeat these days (sorry, Cowboy Junkies!). I listened to this mix most of the way to Des Moines this morning and most of the way back home:
    
    Silver Lining, Rilo Kiley (thanks, Jana)
    Big Yellow Taxi, Counting Crows & Vanessa Carlton
    Hey Julie, Fountains of Wayne (thanks, Glen)
    When Doves Cry, The Be Good Tonyas
    Gamble Everything for Love, Ben Lee
    1234, Feist
    I Hate Everyone, Get Set Go (thanks again, Jana!)
    The Heart of the Matter, India Arie
    Just Pretend, The Bens
    Only a Fool Would Say That, Ivy (thanks again, Glen!)
    Handle With Care, Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins (thanks Andy; and happy engagement!)
    Smile, Lily Allen
    We Walk the Same Line, Everything But the Girl (the song isn't in iTunes; here's the link to the album Amplified Heart on Amazon)
    Fidelity, Regina Spektor
    Baby I Can't Please You, Sam Phillips
    The Underdog, Spoon
    Since U Been Gone, Ted Leo (this one isn't available on iTunes; the link is to a site where you can download it for free)
    Beautiful, Clem Snide
    California Stars, Wilco
    Landed, Ben Folds
    I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, Gypsy Soul



50. A Great Walk — I wrote a crabby post on Saturday about how the cold gray weather is cutting in on my walks, and then I was blessed with sunny skies and 50 degree temps on Sunday, perfect walking weather. Thanks to whomever helped arrange that for me...



51. No More Drama — Last night Glen and I watched two reality shows on VH1 that were drama drama drama — I'm not going to strain my pinkies looking up the exact titles, but one features an 80s hairband guy looking for love in a houseful of cat-fighting ladies, and the other follows the trainwreck marriage of one of the Brady Bunch kids and his much younger centerfold wife. (Please come back, writers!) Afterward my honey and I turned to each other and said: thank God that's not us. I've had my share of drama, for sure: love life, work life, friend life, you name it. But these days my relationships are pretty peaceful and easy — and my interior life is feeling equally serene.



52. Except for the Good Stuff... — Our favorite TV show Lost finally starts this week — the good kind of drama!



53. A Safe Drive — The deer population in southeast Iowa is out-of-control. This morning I had to come to a near stop to avoid hitting two deer crossing the highway in front of me. Glen and my sister Jana have both hit deer near Fairfield within the last few years. I'm so grateful that I've avoided a similar accident, and even more grateful that Glen and Jana were both uninjured in theirs.

Foxy Granny

It's interesting to look in my blog stats to see which search queries lead people here. I sure hope the person who searched for foxy granny likes my site!

Back to Work!

A few updates and random thoughts:

• Glen and I were both back to work today after the holidays, Jo's mom came to pick her up this morning, and Jack went to daycare. It's kind of nice to be back to our routine.



• Jack has become the king of the 24-hour illness. Yesterday he ran a temp of about 102, then was clingy all day and up half the night. We finally brought him in bed with us at about 2 a.m. Even though we have a king-sized bed and put him right in the middle on his own pillow, he would much rather share a pillow with mama, or I should say, he'd much rather lie sideways across mama's pillow while she clings to the side of the bed, which is how I found us arranged when I woke up this morning. He slept in a bit, but when he woke he didn't have a temp and seemed just fine, so we sent him to daycare. When I called Amy to check on him, she said he was playing great and not giving any indiciation that he was sick last night. I'm thrilled that he hasn't had any significant illnesses this winter, just a couple 24-hour fevers and one bout of pink eye. I'm not sure if it's the elimination of dairy, the chiropractic treatments, the homeopathic meds, or just luck. But it's such a glorious change from last winter that we aren't in and out of the doctor's office and pharmacist's line a couple times a week. (#35)



• It can be maddening when you really, really want a good night's sleep and baby isn't cooperating. But last night I tried to appreciate the quiet middle-of-the-night time with him. There's nothing much more perfect than the warmth and weight of a sleepy baby in my arms, his little knees drawn up to his chest and his head snuggled against my neck. These days he's right at that launching off point between baby and little boy, and I want to appreciate any mama/baby time while I can get it.



• I still can't decide who I'm going to caucus for in less than 24 hours now, still flip-flopping between Obama and Edwards a couple times daily. I'm trying not to agonize over the decision, but Glen will be the first to tell you that I'm occasionally agonizing anyway, and he's had to ask me more than once if I can stop talking about it for two seconds. I may leave it up to the Magic 8 Ball. Or I haven't completely ruled out the idea of standing over in the Kucinich corner by myself to avoid having to decide.



• It's a good thing ten minutes counts as a WoYoPracMo practice, because for the second day, that's again all I managed to squeeze in. Even those ten minutes felt great and really worked the kinks out. I only did seated poses tonight because I was too frigging cold to take my socks off.



• Today is my Grandma Norma's 80th birthday. Here's me (could my hood be any tighter?) and Grandma looking pretty foxy in her 40's — it gives me hope to know I'm descended from the same gene pool.

A Lovely Day

Today was one of those days that turned out to be surprisingly sweet even though it was made up of pretty everyday events.

Ever since giving me my iPod three days ago, Glen has been hard at work downloading all of my CDs onto our computer and transferring them over to the iPod. That's one of the things I've gotta love about my guy — if left to my own devices, who knows how many weeks or months it would take me to get all of my CDs downloaded, but when Glen decides to start a project like this he attacks it full speed ahead and gets. it. done. I'm pretty sure all of the music in my collection will be on the iPod by this time next week. No pressure though, honey. (#33)

So this morning we loaded the kids in the car to head to Iowa City for a day of errands, and the time flew by singing along to Ani Difranco and Ben Folds and a few of the other 837 or so songs set to shuffle. The day was a blur of taking Jack in and out of the car seat too many times to count, almost accidentally shoplifting from JC Penneys (but not!), and dropping some stuff off at the consignment shop with the most. unfriendly. employees. ever.

We capped off our excursion by heading to Grinnell for an easy dinner with Glen's mom. I suppose it wasn't as easy for Marilyn, since she did the cooking, but it was a nice, leisurely meal pulled off with the kind of ease that only a woman who raised six kids on an Iowa dairy farm can manage. (most. easygoing. mother-in-law. ever. #34)

If I think about it long enough, I'm sure the kids came up with some things to fuss about today and I'm sure Glen and I got on each other's nerves from time to time. Then there was the longest line of our life at Target, the previously mentioned crabby salespeople, and some equally crabby customers. But any of the stressful stuff that might have come our way was met with mostly humor and patience and not too much exasperation. Overall it was great to get a few things scratched off the to-do list, and spend the day with people who make my life mostly easy and joyful and sweet.

I hope my blog entries don't come across as too braggy about how much I love my life. If it makes a difference to any readers who don't know my background, man, have I done my time. Not that I've had the worst life in the world (or even close). Since I've chosen to slap my full name all over this blog and I don't want to hurt or embarrass anyone (myself included), I'll skip the details and just say that there were a few *really rough years* in there and I've survived my share of craziness.

I can honestly say today that I'm grateful for the tough stuff I've waded through in my life. Those times forced me to take a hard look at who I was and who I wanted to become, and helped make me the person I am today, one who's ridiculously grateful for what I've got.

I Am the Luckiest

Christmas with the family has given me so many reasons to give thanks:

30. My sister Mia's condo — Mia moved to my old Des Moines neighborhood the same week I sold my house and moved to Fairfield. That serendipitous timing has been a life-saver. We have keys to the place, leave a crib and diapers for Jack in the guest bedroom, and have taken over a couple drawers in the bathroom vanity, making her place feel like our second home. I have a bed to sleep in if the weather forces me to spend the night after working in Des Moines; I have easy access to my favorite neighborhood coffee shop; and our extended family has a great mid-way gathering spot. We all met here yesterday to celebrate Christmas together, and it was such an easy, comfortable place to gather. Mia is a great host and never seems to mind our treating her place like a bed and breakfast; I don't know if I would be so gracious (okay, I'm almost certain I wouldn't be so gracious...) if family descended on my home that often.



31. Free babysitting! Last night the sisters and our sweeties went out to a late movie while my parents stayed at Mia's place with Jack and JoEllen, for free of course. I actually think I might be able to get them to pay me for the chance to babysit their favorite pee wees. I'm still trying to figure out how to work that angle.



32. A family that spoils me — Despite pre-determined spending limits (that I stuck to, I might add), my hubby and parents surprised me with an iPod, the kind with enough memory to hold our entire CD collection (and probably the CD collections of everyone who reads this post) and the many audio books and podcasts that are currently floating all over my car. I know most of y'all rang in the millennium with an iPod at your side, and I've been jonesing for one almost that long, but it's the type of luxury I was unlikely to splurge on myself, or even officially put on my Christmas list. Even though we DVR our favorite TV shows (the poor girl's Tivo) and normally fast-forward through commercials, Glen can attest that I make him pause and watch all of the iPod and iPhone commercials with me as I gaze longingly at the screen, at the same time saying, whatever you do, do not get me an iPod for Christmas. No mixed message there! I've been a proponent of minimizing our family's gift giving and trying to make Christmas more about the time spent together than about exchanging big piles of lavish gifts. When Glen asked me if I was going to blog about my iPod, I asked, does that make me seem shallow? Regardless, I'm super excited about my new toy, and touched that my family treated me to such a thoughtful gift.
    
    

       

An Offering

My Grandma Jo's funeral is today. Since I won't be there in person, I decided to dedicate my yoga practice to her this morning, an idea I got from some of the yoga blogs I've been reading. It was nice. I thought of Grandma, hoping she's happy, at peace, and in the presence of the many loved ones who went before her. I also sent some love out to my mom and her siblings, my sister Mia who is a very sensitive soul, and everyone else who's either at the funeral today or grieving on their own. It's a small offering, but I hope a little bit of the love I send reaches someone who needs it today.